 |
| Becky rage! |
Pope: So, your Starbucks cup reads 'Moira'. I just have to confirm before we start...you are indeed Mara Bernd née Libuser?
Mara:
Umm, yes. You've known me for seventeen years, Mark.
Pope:
Right...I'm pretty sure you're you...sorry. Funny...'Moira'...sounds
so....Jewish. I mean, not that being Jewish is funny. Hey, my wife
is Jewish, so I'm not judging here. Lots of great people are
Jewish. Lots of funny people are Jewish. Adam Sandler is Jewish,
and he was in a movie actually titled 'Funny People'...with Seth Rogen...who I
think is also Jewish. Rogen totally reminds me of my cousin, Rick.
He brews great coffee...good 'foam ratio', I'm told. 'He
brews'...heh...Freudian slip. Anyway, you're Mara, not Moira. Where
was I?
Mara: *blank
stare* *foamy latte sip* *mumbles something unprintable about 'Becky'*
*scowl*
Pope:
OK, here we go... So, I don't want to ask you too many of the same
questions I asked Ponce. I'm really going for the chick audience with
this installment, so take us back to the early '90's...UCSD Rec Gym...a dreamy
goalie with a rich, thick mane of hair starts making eyes at you. Josh is
standing behind that guy, staring at that rich, thick mane of hair...and he
kind of notices you, too. He can't have that hair, but maybe (JUST MAYBE)
he can have you...
Mara: Yeah, I give you credit for introducing
us...sort of. Although we were on the same inaugural Spring League 1997
'Blue Balls' team at the UCSD Rec Gym, Josh and I didn’t remember each other
the following spring. I blame the fact that he was wearing a goalie mask the
whole time...what was his excuse? So, while watching a game in spring
1998, for some reason you felt compelled to say “Josh, this is Mara. Mara, this
is Josh"...and, the rest is history…but let me tell you herstory
(ha ha).
*crickets*
(yes, diurnal, unimpressed crickets)
Despite
dropping very obvious hints (that everyone else apparently picked up on), Josh
never asked me out. Never! Well, maybe once or twice about a year
or two ago. I asked him out to our first three dates--the first via email
(with sweaty fingers, and a racing heart). We had a nice time having a
Cinnabon, watching “Scream 2” (my choice, so I could jump in his lap),
eating pizza for dinner, and then coffee. After the first date, I thought
that he would just be a fun fling, since I wasn’t looking for a long-term
relationship at the time.
Pope:
Wow. So, so far we've learned that Josh is not all that perceptive (or
was, perhaps, 'confused' in college), that you were kind of a slut back then,
and that you ate Cinnabon and pizza with sweaty fingers...hot. OK, so,
when I was really little, I used to think that 'you can be anything you want to
be when you grow up' meant you could be a bear, or an eagle, or a rocket
ship. I also scolded my mom once for 'drinking and driving'...she almost
spit Diet Pepsi all over the windshield. What did you REALLY want to be
when you were a little girl?
Mara: *checks
watch* *rolls eyes* Maybe because I grew
up in Santa Monica, I really wanted to be an actress. Or, maybe all little
girls want to be an actress at one time or another. My mom would always
suggest that we go to a casting call sometime, but we never did. In the
summer after first grade, I was in a production at a local theatre, and I
memorized the entire play the first week. Too bad I only had two lines,
if that. But, I don’t think it would’ve worked out…I’m way too
self-conscious, and not exactly the type that studios are looking for.
Although, I do get that I look like Sarah Silverman or Alanis Morissette.
Pope:
Too funny! I was just going to suggest that you look like Sarah
Silverman...hadn't really thought of it until recently. Alanis
Morisette...I suppose I can see that, too…ironically enough. Though, you
don't want to be associated with a dirty Canadian girl who will 'go down on
[guys] in a theater'...do you? Actually, let's leave that question
rhetorical, and move on... My guilty pleasure is masturbation
'taking a lap' at Target, and blowing $150 in the process. Sure, I went
there for paper towels and cat litter, but hey, I'm an ugly American.
What is/are your guilty pleasure(s)?
 |
| Who wore the face best? |
Mara:
The clean answer would be that I like to eat sugar
cereals, even for dinner (when the kids are not around). Apple Jacks, Cap’n
Crunch, Froot Loops, Honey Smacks, Corn Pops, you name it. I also like almost
all carnival foods: caramel apples, cotton candy, corn dogs, kettle corn,
churros, etc. I want to have a party where there is a smorgasbord of these foods,
but I’m not sure who would come.
Pope: Gross. We'll get that 'unclean' answer from you when we start charging for access to this blog. OK, multiplayer art contest! I asked you to draw an elephant riding a bicycle, then ask you to ask Haley, Casey, and Josh to do the same. Here are the fruits of your labor. I will leave it to our adoring fan base (*rim shot*) to guess who drew which, and who drew it best. [Answers at the bottom of the page]
Pope: Gross. We'll get that 'unclean' answer from you when we start charging for access to this blog. OK, multiplayer art contest! I asked you to draw an elephant riding a bicycle, then ask you to ask Haley, Casey, and Josh to do the same. Here are the fruits of your labor. I will leave it to our adoring fan base (*rim shot*) to guess who drew which, and who drew it best. [Answers at the bottom of the page]
Pope:
I'm obligated to pose at least one straight-faced SDFHL question, so...here
goes. Our league has always been co-ed, and we have come a long way since
the days of two point female goals and 'mandatory sports bra inspections'
(Isaac was damn near jailed for that little gem). Do you think the
league does enough to attract female players, and to incorporate them in the
flow of the game? How can we do better?
Mara: OK, *serious
hat on*…I don’t think the league is doing anything outwardly proactive in terms
of recruiting females. We’re getting really low on women every season. We
can only field two women per team nowadays, when in the past we used to have at
least three. But, that was back when we probably had fewer teams, and
even further back when we had to have two women on the floor at any time – is
that right? Maybe my mind is making stuff up. In any case, I’m always on the look-out for
new female blood. I probably get lots of strange looks from people when I
try to get them to come out and play a physically demanding sport that they’ve
never tried before with men twice their size, especially after they’ve seen me
with bruises on all parts of my body as a result of said sport.
I was worried
about changing the female goal rule, thinking that it would make guys pass to
us even less often than they do already. However, according to the stats
(Linke?), we’re scoring just as much, if not more than before the rule
change. I wish that guys would pass to us more, though. I can’t
even tell you how many times I’ve been wide open for a pass right in front of
the net, but my male teammate decides for the crazy glory shot instead.
I’m not saying that I’m going to get a clean shot on net every time or even
half the time, but I think my odds are better than when my guy has two
defenders on him. At least there are rare times when both females are out
on the rink and we pass to each other, resulting in a goal, right Melissa B.?
I’m not sure what the league itself can do to
incorporate females into the flow of the game more. Guys will decide on
their own what to do when the time comes, I suppose. I try to get out on
Thursdays and improve my play and endurance, so females could probably help
themselves by using that time to do the same. As far as recruitment, I
think current players should just spread the word among the people they know,
and hopefully we will get enough females each season for balanced teams.
Pope: Sorry,
I tuned out after 'crazy glory shot'...sorry...the mind goes where the mind
goes. Anyhoo...follow up question--which male player in the league do you
feel is the best at passing to female players/incorporating females into the
game play?
Mara: I
don’t think I’ve played with all of the male players, and my memory is fading
with my old age, so this might be a little biased towards people I’ve played
with more recently. So of course, Matt Riordan comes to mind, especially since
I played with him a lot these last few seasons. I remember before we started
ending up on the same team together a lot, he was on a team with Shawna Hamon,
and he was great at giving her passes. I was excited to be on that kind of
offensive line with him, but unfortunately, I’m not as skilled as Shawna, and I
didn’t quite use those opportunities to the fullest like she did (i.e.
scoring).
Pope: Happiness is eating _________, while having my ________ rubbed by _____________ and watching reruns of ___________. Everything is perfect today -- the kids _____________, Josh is actually ________, for once, and I am serenaded throughout the day by my favorite artist/band, ____________. As the sun begins to set, I am handed a 'prefect foam ratio' latte on board my private jet flight to _____________, where I will rendezvous with me all time hunky celebrity crush, ______________, for four days and five nights of ___________ and ___________.
Pope: Happiness is eating _________, while having my ________ rubbed by _____________ and watching reruns of ___________. Everything is perfect today -- the kids _____________, Josh is actually ________, for once, and I am serenaded throughout the day by my favorite artist/band, ____________. As the sun begins to set, I am handed a 'prefect foam ratio' latte on board my private jet flight to _____________, where I will rendezvous with me all time hunky celebrity crush, ______________, for four days and five nights of ___________ and ___________.
Mara: Happiness
is eating chocolate-covered strawberries, while having my feet rubbed by
trained flying monkeys, and watching reruns of I Love Lucy. Everything is
perfect today -- the kids are training to be ninja spies, Josh is actually
cooking dinner, for once, and I am serenaded throughout the day by The
Cure. As the sun begins to set, I am handed a 'perfect foam ratio'
latte Thai iced tea on board my private jet flight to New Zealand, where I
will rendezvous with my all-time hunky celebrity crush, George Clooney, for
four days and five nights of eco-touring and thrill-seeking.
Pope:
Some of us have pets, but all of us have pet peeves. We polled one Mara
Bernd, and asked her 'What is your biggest pet peeve'? The top five
answers are on the board...
Mara: *gives
me the 'I'm busy' one finger up move* *texts vigorously* Well, you know how much I hate
certain grammatical errors that people make. I’m not a great writer or
grammarian by any means, but when people say or write things like “less people” instead of “fewer people,” it really chaps my hide.
I also get bugged by certain nameless people not loading the dishwasher
properly, rude drivers not using their turn signals, and the same certain
nameless people not turning off the lights when they leave a room. This one really gets me – people who interrupt! I
try not to do it myself, but of course everyone has a moment or two of
weakness. But people who consistently
interrupt when you’re trying to tell a story or even answer a question they
asked, UGH! So annoying! And, thank you
for not interrupting me during this rant, Mark.
Pope: You’re welcome. I can pretend to pay attention with the best of them. So, I'm putting you in charge of the 2015 'Men Of The SDFHL'. Give me January-December, including a brief description of the scene/costume/pose/what have you. You get MASSIVE bonus points if you can get any of your men of the month to execute the scene/pose/theme you have created.
Mara:
Oh my, I'll have to think long and hard about this one...
Pope:
Long and hard...that's what...
Mara:
Yes, I know! ‘She’ said that...you're so unbelievably clever! Now,
where was I?
[Editor’s Note: Please have the kids leave the room now…]
Mara: January – Let’s start off the year with Jason Remple--a
solid choice, I must say, given his solid body (and he supposedly doesn’t even
work out!). It’s a snowy day on a frozen lake, and the poor guy only has on his
skates and skivvies. He doesn’t care and is posed to play with his stick in his
hand.
Pope: Down, girl!
Mara:
February –
I’m giving the month of love to Josh, of course. He feels compelled to
celebrate the holiday he despises, and offers up a large heart-shaped box of
chocolates, which is carefully positioned in front of his smooth, bare bod.
Cheesy, but classic.
Pope: My god, woman...think of the children!
Mara:
March – For
my birth month, there is a competition between the Matts (Riordan and Macauley)
and the Marks (DeGraffenreid and Daquipa). They are playing chicken in the
waves of La Jolla Shores, Riordan on Macauley’s shoulders and DeGraffenreid on
Daquipa’s. Speedos are the fashion accessory de jour.
Pope: Oh...would you look at the time! Incidentally, we got this, Daquipa!
Mara:
April – ...is
the month of the Bobs (continuing my multiple men per month theme). Bob Teglia
is posing for a sculpture by artist Bob Jones. The scene is industrial. Teglia
is dripping with grease and sweat, smiling in that mischievous way that he
does, which can only mean he knows something you want to know but he won’t tell
you what it is. Jones, also dripping
with grease and sweat, looks perplexed but still manages to create a
masterpiece out of wire and a carefully placed, up-angled hockey blade.
Pope: *speechless gape*
Mara:
May – Derek
Lobo is the featured player for this month. He is sitting on the edge of a
large mahogany desk, arms and legs crossed. Bookcases line the walls, a
nighttime panorama of downtown San Diego glows from the back window. Yes, a
perfect office for a high-profile attorney. He sports a sly, mysterious
grin, a tie, and not much else. He face seems to say, “Let me see your
portfolio,” and you can’t help but acquiesce.
Pope: Well, you stopped short of making a 'joining
his firm' joke, I guess I'll give you that...
Mara:
June – Don
“The Collector” Tran is lying down on his side in front of his massive
collection of goalie gear, his head resting in his palm. He is buck naked, and
the only thing preserving his modesty is a strategically placed goalie
helmet.
Pope: *looks incredulously at
camera, a la Jim from The Office* *weeps for our children*
Mara:
July – This
month is dedicated to our country’s more recent immigrants. In the spirit of our forefathers, who welcomed
the tired, the poor, the huddled masses…but in this case, the strong, the
talented, and those enveloped in the colors of red, white, and blue. Yes, revealing just his backside, Dale
Stuzka’s birthday suit is painted in the colors of our flag. But, please no
flag pole.
Pope: Holy hell, Mara! Have
you no mercy?!
Mara:
August – This
hot and moist month will feature the already-colorful men of the league: Gary
Peters and Steve Jones. To highlight their tattooed bodies, Gary and Steve are
draped over couch-sized blocks of ice, recovering from the overbearing summer
heat. They have just finished playing their games, and disrobing down to their
boxer briefs on the frigid ice perked them up just enough to give the ladies a
show of their hardened bodies.
Pope: ...clearly not.
Mara: September – For the back-to-school month,
this teacher will school viewers on his manliness. A topless Walter Solomon
flexes in front of a chalkboard (yes, a chalkboard – not a whiteboard or
Promethean board), sketched with his top hockey plays. I'm not sure if
the women students can avoid being distracted, and actually manage to learn a thing or two, but they
are happy to be there.
Pope: Walter...teaches underage girls (and
boys)...for the record…you sick, sick woman.
Mara: October – Andy Strathman removes one of his
fake teeth to create a Jack-o-Lantern-type aura. Nobody is truly scared of him, though (except
for his slap shot) because his smile exudes warmth and good cheer for this
fun-filled holiday month. Standing nude in a darkened cobwebbed doorway, Andy
offers up a bowl of chocolates at crotch level to whoever is brave enough to
come forward.
Pope: This...this I can get
into. Can you send me more of your ideas on this?
Mara: November – Ladies get to imagine
the different ways to stuff themselves when they see Jerry Gonzales lying in
front of them, covered in all the bounty of Thanksgiving yumminess. That is
all.
Pope: *spits foamy latte everywhere*
MARA! '..imagine the different ways to stuff themselves'?! Are you
even hearing yourself?!
Mara:
December – Who wouldn’t be happy opening up a gift containing the lovable Geoff
Appuhn?
Pope:
*raises hand*
Mara:
He’s all decked out in ribbons and bows…and that’s it.
His beaming smile lures women to unwrap him to discover if he’s naughty or
nice.
Pope:
Well...I'm taking three showers tonight, and I will be Googling 'mind enemas',
posthaste...thanks a bunch. So, ladies...here is your chance to vote on
which
of Mara's calendar pages you most want to see come to life. I can't
promise anything, but we will make every effort to make that shoot
happen...for
charity, of course (certainly for no other sane reason):
Mara: I
have a bad memory for some things, so again I’ll have to go with recent events.
It will probably have to be Don’s Gold team from Fall 2013 – 'Go
Banana!' – with Alaa Razoky, Andy Strathman, Bob
Jones, Don Tran, Eric Willard, Johnathan Scofield, Karen Linke, Matt Riordan,
and Steve Noceti. Our team really gelled and got along all season, which
probably helped us win the cup in the end. I loved the team so much, I tried to
recreate it when I captained the following season ('Go Diva!'). I was able to
get about half of the team together, but it just wasn’t the same.
Pope:
You obviously have some hockey skills, but what is your hidden (or funny, or
freakish) talent? You will get massive bonus points for a short video
clip of said talent. Keep it clean, please!
Mara:
Keep it clean? Well, there goes my one and only talent. Aside from that, I’m
pretty talentless. It’s sad.
Pope:
Just when I thought this interview could not get any more depraved...wow!
OK, you know that I hate your home town of Santa Monica. It's nothing
personal, I'm sure it's a lovely place (when a homeless lady isn't randomly
popping out of a bush and hurling a 40oz bottle full of urine at you, and
homeless people aren't coming INTO the McDonald's to ask if they can have some
of your fries, and the 3rd Street Promenade restaurant you just ate at doesn't
have a 'B' in the window....but, I digress). Again, I am sure it is a
lovely place. Give us a glimpse into your magical childhood in that
magical town, and tell us about your first exposure to hockey...
Mara: I was ultra competitive with my older brother, so I played a lot of sports when I was little--primarily soccer and softball. When I was in high school, I played soccer in the fall and in the spring, instead of playing softball, I chose to run on the track team. I was a sprinter and hurdler, with a little shot put on the side.
 |
| This innocent little tomboy grew up to be a filthy-minded deviant. |
Mara: I was ultra competitive with my older brother, so I played a lot of sports when I was little--primarily soccer and softball. When I was in high school, I played soccer in the fall and in the spring, instead of playing softball, I chose to run on the track team. I was a sprinter and hurdler, with a little shot put on the side.
I went to college at UCSD, and I roomed across the hall in Muir’s Tenaya Hall from Greg Willis. I guess he thought I might be OK at floor hockey, since we talked about how I used to play soccer, so he invited me to play on his rec team freshman year. Every year after that, I told Greg not to lose my number so I could keep playing hockey with him (and we played softball together for a few years, too). He was better at returning calls back then, and we played together every year until this league started. I was nervous about being drafted, so I finally bought some hockey gloves, and wore shin guards more regularly…protecting my shins overcame my vanity. I’ve been playing in the league ever since, except for a couple seasons when I was pregnant.
Pope:
Yeah...weren't using so much protection THEN, were you? OK, we do need to
retain at least some of our male audience. So, not that you swing this
way, but if you had to make out with one of the SDFHL ladies, it would be
____________. You just couldn't resist her ____________.
Mara: I had to make out with one of the SDFHL
ladies, it would be Janet. I just couldn't resist her cute little nose.
Pope: Awesome...NOW you decide to shift it back to G-rated...just peachy. You can tune back out now, boys! A few minutes ago, you're describing male bodies like meat, and....you know what...whatever...high road...moving on. After firing that one at you, I'll give you the same courtesy I gave Ponce...one retaliatory question...
 |
| Don't ask, don't tell, Janet. Unless it's about some kind of 'cute little nose' sex, then please tell. |
Pope: Awesome...NOW you decide to shift it back to G-rated...just peachy. You can tune back out now, boys! A few minutes ago, you're describing male bodies like meat, and....you know what...whatever...high road...moving on. After firing that one at you, I'll give you the same courtesy I gave Ponce...one retaliatory question...
Mara: I’ll
be nice here…where did you get your mad writing skills? It’s fortunate that you
have an outlet with writing for our league, but what about a career in it?
Pope: Thanks,
that's a nice segue...going soft. Well, the brutally honest answer
is that I have pretty low self esteem in most regards, and a crippling sense of
humility (thanks a lot, parents). So, while I do occasionally pat myself
on the back for this or that, I don't think I honestly have the confidence to
exploit any of my true talents. That's probably super buzzkilly TMI, but
there's your answer on the ‘career in writing’ front. I will acknowledge
that I consider myself a reasonably adept writer, and that I am sometimes quite
proud of things I have written, but that's about as much self-adulation as you
will squeeze out of me at this time.
Pope:
I've asked five of your fellow players to sum you up in three words. Your
job is to match the summary with the summarizer...
- Deborah Finucane
- Dale Stuzka
- Steph
- Derek Lobo
- Dorothy Kline
- Hot/Tough/Friendly
- Frugal/QVC/99¢
- Funny/Caring/Thoughtful
- Thrifty/Filofax/Shugga Free
- Innocent/Little/Me
Mara:
- Deborah Finucane...Frugal/QVC/99¢...NAILED IT
- Dale Stuzka...Funny/Caring/Thoughtful...FAIL
- Stephanie ...Thrifty/Filofax/Shugga Free...NAILED IT
- Derek Lobo...Hot/Tough/Friendly...FAIL
- Dorothy Klin...Innocent/Little/Me...FAIL
- Deborah Finucane...Frugal/QVC/99¢
- Dale Stuzka...Hot/Tough/Friendly
- Steph...Thrifty/Filofax/Shugga Free
- Derek Lobo...Innocent/Little/Me
- Dorothy Klin...Funny/Caring/Thoughtful
Mara: My new nickname is 'Sweetie-Pie', because I
can’t stand it if anybody doesn’t like me. Yeah, that sucks, I know. I’m also
not very creative.
 |
| 'Sweetie-Pie' propaganda shot #1. |
 |
| 'Sweetie-Pie' propaganda shot #2. |
Mara: I wanted to
try using the first parts of people’s names, but some of them didn’t come out
too well, especially Ray’s (Ray Purcell = Raypur).
Pope: Back to the blue humor, I
see...awesome times. Incidentally, that is hilarious!
Mara: Alaa is “The Alaabama Slammer”. She’s a tough chick. I really loved being on the same team as her for
three straight seasons, but it’s scary to play against her. Remember,
she’s Alan’s sister.
Mike
“Bombshell” Froman – He’s unassuming in many ways, then he hits you with double
entendres, taking the reins, and being a nuisance defender that I can’t get
around. And…he’s cute.
Pope: 'Taking the reins'? ‘He’s cute’? What the hell is going on here?
Josh...are you reading this?
Mara:
Min-Soo
“Roadrunner” Smith – Yep, ‘cause he’s fast. Although, the Roadrunner was much better at stopping, like before falling
over a cliff. At least Min-Soo has walls
to stop him.
Pope: Awwww, schnap! Shots fired!
Mara:
Sholom Meyer,
who sadly moved away, is “The Hebrew Hammer.” He can adjust his yarmulke while
deking through an entire team… then score.
I’m
really bad at thinking up nicknames, so that’s it for me.
Pope:
Well, you're certainly not great at it, but...you tried. The lesson
is...never try. Moving on
to another thing you probably suck at, please
create a short story (no more than a few paragraphs) featuring at least 2-3
members of the league, and all of the following:
- a unicorn
- big hoop earrings
- magic pants
- all you can eat
- sexting
- big, bushy fro
- drinking game
- shame
- bi-curiosity
- a 'moral of the story'
Mara: Once upon a time, a unicorn was sexting Eddie
Zuniga, when she got interrupted by a call from her ex, Mark
DeGraffenreid. He was begging her for forgiveness, ashamed about his
behavior when they were together. He used to make fun of her big hoop
earrings and would try to use her horn in unnatural ways. She wasn’t sure
if she should take him back, so she went to an all-you-can-eat vegan restaurant
to sort things out. Coincidentally, she ran into another ex, Jeremy Copp,
who was sporting a big, bushy fro.
Pope: Imagine that...
Mara: Enticed by this style change, the unicorn struck up
a conversation with him, and was eventually invited to his house (presumably to
see his new 'magic pants'). This was a ploy on Jeremy’s part, who got her
wasted during a drinking game where they took a shot every time Ronnie Ponce
laughed during a pre-recorded playoff game. Jeremy sought to satisfy the
unicorn’s prior bi-curiosity by setting her up with Steph.
Pope: Go on...!
Mara: The unicorn sobered up fast once she realized
Jeremy’s intentions and stormed out. She had enough with these San Diego hockey
men and moved to Sweden.
Pope: You suck. Really, this isn't shtick
anymore...you suck! OK, I
don't want you to be late for 'patience practice', so...big finish...lightning
round! Cat, or dog? Chunky, or smooth? One goal, or two
assists? Sky dive, or mountain climb? Ron W, or Harry P?
Aisle, window, or middle? Chest and arms, or abs and butt? Hickey
bruise on your neck, or hockey bruise on your face? 4S, or
Escondido? Coke, or Pepsi? Set plans, or seat of your pants?
Mara: Dog. Chunky. Two assists. Sky dive
(although I’ve done both). Ron W., but only after puberty. Window (I can
hold it). That next one is hard to choose…I’ll go with chest and arms.
This one is tough, too…hickey bruise on my neck, I guess.
Pope:
*cough*SLUT*cough*
Mara:
Definitely 4S. Neither – soda is yucky. I’m a huge planner, so Josh would
go ballistic if I chose “seat of my pants.” But, I like to be spontaneous when
I don’t have any set plans…how’s that?
Pope:
Makes...perfect sense...like at least 13% of the rest of your answers.
Well, you have gone above and beyond, 'Sweetie-Pie'. I think it's pretty
safe to say that you one (or two, or three) upped Mr. Ponce. As a special
reward, I hereby bestow you with the power to select the next 'SDFHL Sunday
Conversation' guest...
Mara: One
of the quiet ones…Steve Linke or Andy Strathman
Pope:
Super...you REALLY know how to pick 'em. Hey, I'm probably headed back
into Starbucks...you want me to apologize to Becky for you?
Mara: You
tell that **** that if I ever catch her on the ****ing street, I will turn her
****ing stupid green apron blood ****ing red. BLOOD ****ING RED!
[Editor's Note: That first '****'
was 'the big one', folks]
Pope:
Ummm...K. You enjoy that 'patience practice', Mara. Practice,
practice, practice!
Mara:
**** YOU!
Pope:
Stuck the dismount there, 'Sweetie-Pie'...stay classy!
Artist Answers:
A) Casey B) Josh C)
Mara D) Haley
 |
| Yeah, I felt this way about the experience, too, Mara. |
